To all of you regarding Anxiety and Panic Attacks

To all of you regarding Anxiety and Panic Attacks

I recently lost a very dear animal in my life... some of my friends and family might argue I had too much of an attachment to this dog. I couldn't help it... he was my rock, my angel, my life... for a long time. He helped me through divorce and a few terrible relationships. He was always there for me. Needles to say his passing I didn't take very well. Ever since then I started to drink and smoke more than usual, you know, to "relieve the pain of my loss" I wasn't getting black out drunk by all means, but enough so I could go to sleep each night... this went on for about a week until I one day I suffered a severe Panick Attack. I have always suffered from anxiety, especially when hung over but never to this extent. I used to be able to go on with my day, anxiety and all and have cigarettes without a problem. Apparantly not anymore. They seemed to make things worse. So here it goes... After about a week of my dog passing I suffered my first panick attack... It was terrible... I seriously thought I was going to die. I ended up calling 911 and going into the ER. My blood pressure was off the roof (200/130) but all the test came back normal. They sent me home with some anxiety medication. The same thing happened the next day... instead of calling 911 and I had my husband take me to the ER. They did all the sames tests and everything came back normal again and they sent me home with a different kind of anxiety medication. Since then I would go without a drink for a few days and have a nice normal anxiety free day and then would have a night with 4-5 drinks feeling okay. Until again the next day I would have anxiety so bad the pills I was given barely worked. I have now learned I can no longer drink alcohol... it acts as a depressant in my body because I was greaving. It's not worth living in hell for two days afterwards. I went to the doctor and he had me get a stress test done so I could stop worrying about my heart... and to my relief it came back normal. We talked about my past, with losing my father and a sister at a young age which triggered the talk about losing my dog. I have always had a fear of dying... This has triggered my life to be filled with endless anxiety and constant worry of something bad happening. My doctor mentioned there doesn't have to be an actual bad thing happening for anxiety to get worse... but it certainly doesn't help. I don't feel depressed... as a matter of fact I am the happiest I have ever been in my whole life for once so why am I having these terrible anxiety/panic attacks and all of the sudden my body cannot handle a lick of alcohol (which used to help me)? I have figured out I have underlying issues dealing with death... My doctor explained to me that anxiety is an actual disorder that will never leave me therefore I have to deal with what is causing my anxiety for it to get better. I am trying to exercise, haven't had a drink in a long time and cut back on smoking a whole ton. I still haven't had a day without anxiety so the next step might have to be an antidepressant just so I can have a fews months off from my brain. My whole reason for writing this is to let everyone know you are not alone in this, anxiety is a serious medical condition and you should seek help from a doctor. Nobody wants to live in a nightmare like this, I know I don't. I hope Prozac will help me... even if it's for 6 months, in the meanwhile I can get my body back in shape and by the time I will feel brave enough to get off the medication I hope my mind/body is ready. Good luck to you all out there. And get well soon.