Obsession with penis size, big and small

I understand as well as anyone the obsession with penis size, big and small. Much has been written on this site about my own size, and I've experienced the fascination directed at me since the start of puberty. Despite the insistence of "size doesn't matter," perception is reality for most.

(Ironically, many superhung guys learn to use the motion of the ocean along with the size of the boat simply because they've been afforded so many opportunities to practice with live partners.)

My own opinion has been that psychology plays more of a part with penis size during sex than anything else. The conceptualization of something more than twice normal stretching them wide is more arousing than the actual penetration; it's basically mental foreplay during intercourse, enhancing the actual physical stimulation. Women who prefer small penises probably use that same mental stimulation of a discreet member entering them.

In essence, it's all in the head.

In the middle of this, Dutch sex site SingleSex has run a "most beautiful penis" contest (what the qualifiers were baffle me -- smooth skin? foreskin looseness? presence of big vein on the dorsal side?), and has now started a "smallest penis" contest.

Naturally, the site couches the contest in the interests of men's mental well-being, claiming: "It's a competition which is at the core of manhood, the most important thing for a man. There are so many unhappy men out there, who think you have to have a giant penis, but it's not normal to have a huge one."

I'm not sure if they're being condescending or insulting.

How will this make them better people or sex partners? Is trying to win a size contest a way to engender self-esteem? If anything, this will make guys who are insecure about their size even more so. The guys who enter the contest already have enough pride in their own organ.

The freak show atmosphere that SingleSex is engendering isn't going to make small guys feel good about themselves. (Can you imagine a guy being told by his buddy, "Hey, I've seen your dick -- it's pretty tiny. Go enter the contest and get a free iPad, man!" Yeesh.)

I've found that regardless of size, what makes a penis hot is the guy it's attached to. I get just as many compliments over my eye color as I do my size. (It helps that I'm allowed to show my eyes off in public.) The thing that'll get a guy with any size excited is a girl (or guy -- I'm not judging) telling them how turned on he's making them. Preferably with hands exploring downward.

The reverse is true, too. Women tend to get excited over responsible penises that react favorably in their presence. People like to feel like they turn the other person on, and vice versa. They don't need the "small penises are exciting, too!" spiel. All penises are exciting, regardless of size.

Unless you're not into penises and guys at all. But that's a whole other topic.

Jonah Falcon is an actor and writer, famous for having the longest penis ever measured in a documentary film.  www.vydox.com