Political differences and the bedroom

By Ian Kerner, Special to CNN

updated 5:56 PM EDT, Tue September 18, 2012

Are you in a relationship with someone of a different political party during this election season?

STORY HIGHLIGHTS

• Political differences may be a boost to some relationships
• A recent survey shows sexual differences between Republicans and Democrats
• "Human sexuality should not be a politically divisive issue," a researcher says

Editor's note: Ian Kerner, a sexuality counselor and New York Times best-selling author, blogs about sex for CNN Health. Read more from him on his website, GoodInBed.

(CNN) -- For most couples, a few differences -- whether philosophical, religious, or simply about whose turn it is to do the dishes -- are hardly newsworthy.

But for vice presidential candidate Paul Ryan and his wife Janna, political dissimilarities were enough to land them an article in The New York Times.

This may not seem like a big deal to the couple themselves -- she's a "practical conservative" from a prominent Democrat family and he's, well, a staunch Republican. Yet such seemingly major differences can be mind-boggling to many people, particularly in the heat of election season.

Of course, the Ryans aren't the first couple to agree to disagree politically in the name of love. Political strategists James Carville and Mary Matalin famously butted heads on the campaign trail, then stunned America when they fell in love, got married and raised a family.

And there have always been rumors that some first ladies haven't agreed with their presidential spouses on every issue; Laura Bush is one example.

Ian Kerner

It may surprise those of us who are in agreement with our partners -- or who can't imagine dating a Republican or Democrat -- but political differences can actually be a benefit to some relationships.

"If a couple who doesn't share political views has a healthy relationship, then that speaks to other strengths," says psychotherapist Jonathan Alpert, author of "Be Fearless: Change Your Life in 28 Days."

"For example, they may have good communication and conflict resolution skills, a healthy sex life, shared goals, and similar interests -- all of which are possible even if their politics differ."

But how does that conflict play out in the bedroom? Democrats and Republicans may be able to agree to disagree, but their differences appear to continue between the sheets.

According to a recent survey by Binghamton University and dating website Match.com of more than 5,000 single American men and women, politically liberal respondents were more likely to have sex more often, but conservative respondents reported having "better" sex.

Specifically, 53% of those who described themselves as conservative Republicans said that they reached orgasm every time they had sex, compared with 40% of liberal Democrats.

"Orgasm, particularly among women, takes practice and knowing one's body," suggests Justin Garcia, a postdoctoral fellow at The Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction and a co-researcher on the study.

"Conservatives tend to be more traditional and rigid. So, it reasons that this might also manifest in the bedroom -- once they've found something that works, they stick to it!"

That's just a guess, of course. But the survey also uncovered some other interesting sexual-political tidbits.

For example, the liberal Democrats surveyed placed more importance on sense of humor, independence and equality in a partner, while conservative Republicans were more likely to seek out someone of the same background and political party and were more apt to want to get married.

Overall, such fun facts make for excellent cocktail party fodder, but they may not have much of an impact on real relationships.

In fact, the survey found that just 17% of men and 20% of women said they must be with someone who's in their political party.

"The interesting message from this survey is that, regardless of political affiliation, almost everyone in America recognizes the importance of love and sex, either in their lives or the world around them," Garcia says.

"This is an important message during an election year -- human sexuality should not be a politically divisive issue, since it truly concerns us all."

If you do find yourself in a relationship with someone of the opposite political party, take heart -- and follow Alpert's advice.

"Don't define yourself by your political affiliation. You're a husband, a wife, a brother, a sister, a daughter, a son," he says. "Use the different opinions to learn something new. With every political view is a possible discussion where you can learn about your partner. Set ground rules about when to argue -- and know when to walk away."

So this election season, look past the parties and cast your vote for a happy, healthy relationship.

www.vydox.com

Obama Turns Republican

July 14, 2011

"Republican Candidate" Extends Lead vs. Obama to 47% to 39%

Margin marks first statistically significant lead among registered voters

by Jeffrey M. Jones

PRINCETON, NJ -- Registered voters by a significant margin now say they are more likely to vote for the "Republican Party's candidate for president" than for President Barack Obama in the 2012 election, 47% to 39%. Preferences had been fairly evenly divided this year in this test of Obama's re-election prospects.

See all election 2012 data >

The latest results are based on a July 7-10 poll, and show that the Republican has an edge for the second consecutive month. Obama held a slight edge in May, when his approval rating increased after the death of Osama bin Laden. As his rating has come back down during the last two months, so has his standing on the presidential "generic ballot." Gallup typically uses this question format when a president is seeking re-election but his likely opponent is unknown, as was the case in 1991-1992 and 2003-2004, when incumbents George H.W. Bush and George W. Bush, respectively, were seeking re-election.
The elder Bush held large leads over his generic Democratic opponent throughout 1991, but early 1992 preferences were more evenly divided and Bush eventually lost his re-election bid. The younger Bush also consistently maintained at least a small advantage over the Democrat throughout 2003, before winning re-election in a close contest in November 2004.

Thus, the results more than a year ahead of the election do not have a large degree of predictive ability, and underscore that things can change greatly in the final year or more before an election.
Both Bushes had higher job approval ratings in the year before their re-election contests than Obama does now, helping explain why Obama has fared less well on the generic ballot in the year prior to the election year. George H.W. Bush's approval rating in July 1991 averaged 71%, while George W. Bush's July 2003 average was 60%. Obama's latest weekly average is 46%.
Obama Trailing Among Independent Voters
Independent registered voters are currently more likely to vote for the Republican candidate (44%) than for Obama (34%), though one in five do not have an opinion. Republicans and Democrats show strong party loyalty in their vote choices, with Republicans showing somewhat stronger loyalty.

Independents' preferences are similar to what Gallup measured last month, while Republicans' support for the Republican candidate has increased slightly.
Implications
President Obama's re-election prospects do not look very favorable at this point -- if the election were held today, as measured by the generic presidential ballot. However, that result does not necessarily mean he is likely to be denied a second term in November 2012. At this point in 1991, George H.W. Bush looked like a sure bet to win a second term, but he was defeated.
One key factor in determining Obama's eventual electoral fate is whom the Republican Party nominates as its presidential candidate and the appeal that person has compared with Obama. Mitt Romney is the presumptive front-runner, but Americans have generally not held very positive opinions of him the last few years.
The state of the nation will also influence whether Obama is elected to a second term. Right now, Americans are especially dissatisfied with the way things are going in this country, and economic confidence is lagging.
However, the political environment can certainly change in the 16 months leading up to the election, something that occurred during the 1984 and 1996 election cycles (in the incumbent's favor) and 1992 cycle (in the opponent's favor) when incumbent presidents were seeking re-election.
Track every angle of the presidential race on Gallup.com's Election 2012 page.

Survey Methods Results for this Gallup poll are based on telephone interviews conducted July 7-10, 2011, with a random sample of 897 registered voters, aged 18 and older, living in all 50 U.S. states and the District of Columbia.
For results based on the total sample of registered voters, one can say with 95% confidence that the maximum margin of sampling error is ±4 percentage points.
Interviews are conducted with respondents on landline telephones and cellular phones, with interviews conducted in Spanish for respondents who are primarily Spanish-speaking. Each sample includes a minimum quota of 400 cell phone respondents and 600 landline respondents per 1,000 national adults, with additional minimum quotas among landline respondents for gender within region. Landline telephone numbers are chosen at random among listed telephone numbers. Cell phone numbers are selected using random-digit-dial methods. Landline respondents are chosen at random within each household on the basis of which member had the most recent birthday.
Samples are weighted by gender, age, race, Hispanic ethnicity, education, region, adults in the household, and phone status (cell phone only/landline only/both, cell phone mostly, and having an unlisted landline number). Demographic weighting targets are based on the March 2010 Current Population Survey figures for the aged 18 and older non-institutionalized population living in U.S. telephone households. All reported margins of sampling error include the computed design effects for weighting and sample design.
In addition to sampling error, question wording and practical difficulties in conducting surveys can introduce error or bias into the findings of public opinion polls.
View methodology, full question results, and trend data.
For more details on Gallup's polling methodology, visit www.gallup.com.

Debt Ceiling Talks: Republicans Their Own Worst Enemy

First Posted: 7/14/11 08:45 AM ET Updated: 7/14/11 08:49 AM ET

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By Andy Sullivan
WASHINGTON -- Republican leaders trying to wrangle deep spending cuts from President Barack Obama face an even more implacable negotiating partner: their own rank and file.
As they struggle to reach a budget deal that would allow Congress to extend the nation's borrowing authority beyond an August 2 deadline, Republican leaders in the House of Representatives must keep an eye on a back bench that has shown a marked distaste for any sort of compromise.
Republican leaders use a telling phrase when they reject Democratic proposals: any deal that includes taxes "can't pass the House." Junior lawmakers have not been afraid to let their leaders know where they stand and even undercut them at times.
At times it's not clear who's in charge.
"The internal negotiations among the Republicans themselves in Congress, whether it's just the House or between the House and the Senate, are in an abyss," said Ethan Siegal, an analyst with The Washington Exchange, which tracks Congress for investors.

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Republican leaders say no plan at this point has the votes to pass the House, and an aide said they don't see how a deal can get done. One senior Republican said talks will go right up to -- and perhaps beyond -- the brink of default.
"I think we'll be here in August," said Representative Pete Sessions, the House Republicans' top campaign official, as he left a meeting with newly elected party members. "We are not going to leave town until a proper deal gets done."
House Speaker John Boehner, the top Republican in Congress, was quietly working on an ambitious "grand bargain" with President Barack Obama, until rank-and-file members objected to the $1 trillion in tax increases that would have accompanied $3 trillion in spending cuts.
Boehner's deputy, Eric Cantor, has pitched a $2.5 trillion plan as a more modest, realistic option, but members so far have not embraced it.
Dozens aren't interested in any sort of deal at all. That means Boehner will have to rely on Democratic votes to get a deal passed, which is weakening his hand at the bargaining table even as he takes an increasingly hard-line stance.
UNNERVING ALLIES
Boehner's troops are also undermining his efforts to reassure allies in the business community that Congress will avert a default that could disrupt debt service, retirement payments, military salaries and other obligations.
"The Speaker is getting bad advice," Republican Representative Louie Gohmert said at a news conference on Wednesday. "I would encourage our Speaker, quit believing the president when he uses these scare tactics."
House Republicans may present a unified bloc on taxes, but they are far from unified on tactics.
Representative Charlie Bass told Reuters Congress should pass a short-term debt ceiling increase to buy negotiators more time. But Representative Jeff Flake said he saw no need for immediate action because he thought the Treasury Department could stave off a debt default well beyond August 2.
Even a backup plan that would pin the blame for any debt-ceiling increase on Obama isn't catching on because conservatives say it would sacrifice a chance to win deep spending cuts.
That plan was proposed by Senate Republican Leader Mitch McConnell, who is known as one of Congress' foremost tacticians, but it is not expected to pass the House as lawmakers there believe it would pass up their best chance to win deep spending cuts.
Republicans in the House and Senate face diverging pressures as the 2012 election cycle gets under way.
McConnell is eager to win control of the Senate by forcing Democrats to vote on the debt limit as many times as possible, while House Republicans are eager to hold on to their majority by delivering deep spending cuts.
The election has introduced another disruptive element: presidential candidates who are more concerned with winning primary votes in Iowa and South Carolina than in getting a deal passed in Washington.
Eight candidates have signed a pledge saying they will not back a debt-limit increase unless Congress passes an amendment to the Constitution that requires a balanced budget and a supermajority for raising taxes -- an unlikely prospect.
Representative Michele Bachmann, courting Tea Party conservatives, has said she will not vote for any debt-ceiling increase.
Boehner has in recent days touted the balanced budget amendment as a possible way to resolve the debt-ceiling standoff. That could buy him some breathing room with rank-and-file conservatives, but the measure is not expected to get the two-thirds needed for passage when it comes up for a vote next week.
(Additional reporting by Thomas Ferraro; editing by Todd Eastham)
Copyright 2011 Thomson Reuters