Meryl Streep, ‘Hope Springs,’ and Senior Sex: Why Seniors Are Getting It On
Meryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones play sexually active older folks in the new flick ‘Hope Springs.’ Similar stories are being played out across America as more folks in their 60s, 70s, and 80s are having sex.
No matter where we stand on the economy, gay marriage, and health care, we can all agree on this: We’re in the middle of a senior (sex) moment. Everywhere you look, seniors—from survivors of World War II to survivors of Woodstock and Vietnam—are doing it.
There’s Meryl Streep fondling Tommy Lee Jones (and herself) in Hope Springs. And there’s 72-year-old actor Fred Willard getting busted for masturbating at an “adult” movie theater. And there’s Aviva’s sex-crazed dad, George, on Real Housewives of New York, poking his erection in Sonja’s back. And there’s the viewed-by-1.2 million-YouTube watchers safersex4seniors.org video, showing granny and grandpa types in Kama Sutra positions. (They’re fully clothed, thankfully.) There even are senior-citizen porn videos, including threesomes.
So much for senior sex as the last taboo.
“This group came of age at a time when it was OK to enjoy sexuality, make movies about it, and sing songs about it,” says Melanie Davis, coordinator for SaferSex4Seniors.org and co-president of the sexuality and aging consortium at Widener University. “Boomers aren’t about to shut down their sexuality simply because society expects older adults to be sexless.”
That’s why Americans in their 60s, 70s, and 80s are having sex—and talking about it. “The people who were somewhat older and somewhat younger experienced ‘make love not war,’” says Pepper Schwartz, 67, AARP’s sex and relationships expert and the author of books such as Finding Your Perfect Match, The Lifetime Love and Sex Quiz Book, and Love Between Equals. “Those lessons of life, that cultural revolution, didn’t end with their youth.”
Everything from Hollywood depictions to online dating sites that welcome older people to pharmaceutical game changers such as Viagra has made senior sex a cultural phenomenon. “That belief that you can fall in love, that your passion is not foolish, that you’re not ridiculous for wanting a partner—that’s what we’re seeing a sea change in,” says Schwartz, who just got engaged six weeks ago to a man she met on an online dating site six years ago. “I feel very girlish about it, very happy.”
So are old people having sex? Yes, according to the AARP’s sex, romance, and relationship surveys, and according to studies by professors at places like the University of Chicago.
Meryl Streep as Kay Soames and Tommy Lee Jones as Arnold Soames in Columbia Pictures' Hope Springs. (Barry Wetcher / Sony Pictures)
“That belief that you can fall in love, that passion is not foolish, that you’re not ridiculous for wanting a partner—that’s what we’re seeing a sea change in.”
The University of Chicago’s survey, published in The New England Journal of Medicine in 2007 and part of the National Social Life Health and Aging Project, found that sexual activity declined with age. It was 73 percent among 57-to- 64-year-olds, 53 percent among 65-to-74-year-olds, and 26 percent among 75-to-85-year-olds. The most common problems among women were low desire (43 percent), followed by difficulty with vaginal lubrication (39 percent). For men, the biggest problem was erectile difficulties (37 percent).
The AARP’s most recent survey, conducted in 2009, found that 28 percent of respondents had sexual intercourse at least once a week and 40 percent at least once a month; 22 percent masturbated at least once a month. (Willard just chose to self-stimulate more publicly than most.) The AARP survey also found that three in 10 male respondents had some degree of erectile dysfunction— but medicine came to the rescue. “They’re the Viagra generation,” says Dr. Paul Turek, a urologist who is director and founder of the Turek Clinic, a men’s-health facility in San Francisco. Older men can be like an older Ferrari, he says. “It’s simple biology and simple mechanics. You fix it all up, and they run really hard.”
Meryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones in Hope Springs
Not all ages of seniors are alike. The World War II generation, in their 80s, is less open about talking about sex, says Dr. William Dale, chief of geriatrics and palliative medicine at the University of Chicago. Sixty-somethings are another story. “That generation is much more comfortable with their sexuality,” he says.
Indeed. In the gone-viral 31-second PSA for safersex4seniors.org, ad creator DDB New York showed good sex positions for seniors while drumming home the use-a-condom message. Seniors, no longer worried about pregnancy, forget about STDs and mistakenly think they don’t need prophylactics. There may be a followup, though nothing has been announced. “We’re being highly sought after to do more,” says Peter Hempel, CEO of DDB New York. (He notes that the actors in the video “had a great time doing it.”)
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