Sex after surgery? Please ask first
Modern surgery, for all its ‘high tech wizardry’ that leaves patients with less pain, promotes a faster recovery and improved outcomes but it is still invasive. It’s no wonder the very thought of it makes most people nervous and apprehensive. Almost everyone has many questions prior to their operation. But one that most people might think of but not often ask is, “Can I have sex after surgery?”
Some patients also wonder whether their sex life will return to what is hoped was their pre-surgical levels of ecstasy. After all, in most procedures, the surgeon slices through muscle and tissue, which has to slow even the most libidinal patients down.
It may be best to just accept the fact that that your body will hurt and be sore in certain places for a while once you get home.
The idea of sex after surgery might not even enter your mind, but that’s not to say the subject is taboo or purposely ignored. Hey, maybe you should have asked about pre-surgical sex.
“Questions about sex after surgery do come up,” says Dr. Paul Ruggieri, a Rhode Island-based general surgeon for nearly 30 years. General surgery encompasses a range of procedures between the neck and the abdomen. “Some patients ask before an operation and some will ask after I see them in follow-up. Sometimes it is the man asking and sometimes it is the woman. I have noticed that married women and the single guys bring it up but married men generally don’t.”
Ruggieri, author of Confessions of a Surgeon: The Good, the Bad, and the Complicated…Life Behind the O.R. Doors (Berkley Trade), told VOXXI that the post-surgical sexual outlook often depends upon the type of operation.
“Whatever the operation, the main issue is to let whatever I cut heal up before subjecting it to the rigors of sexual intercourse, otherwise it is going to be very painful and sutures may break loose. Obviously, if a surgeon’s cut is closer to the penis, scrotum, or groin (such as hernia repair or vasectomy), men may need to stay away from sex for a while because it will hurt.”
No acrobatic moves, please
What constitutes asafe time frame to resume sexfollowing surgery varies by the patient, his or her condition, the type of surgery, and other individualized factors.
Dr. Ruggieri believes any timetable is arbitrary and the best course of action is to ask your surgeon. “There is no magic time frame,” he says. “Most men can have sex right up to their surgery, except maybe those with a weak heart who are scheduled for a heart bypass procedure.”
He usually tells patients to wait at least a week to gauge their condition. “Once you get back into the swing of things, I tell patients to go slow and to try no acrobatic moves,” he says.
Post-surgical risks can be severe
Dr. Houtan Chaboki, a facial plastic surgeon at George Washington Medical Faculty Associates in Washington, D.C., says the main post-surgical sex risks are bleeding, bruising and swelling.
He advises his patients that during the two weeks following surgery they should completely avoid any activities such as sex and exercise that increase heart rate or blood pressure. “Patients rarely ask specifically about sex,” Chaboki told VOXXI, “whereas they commonly ask about when they will be able to return to work, exercise or travel after surgery. For minor procedures performed in the office, one may possibly wait one week after the procedure. However, as with all surgery, patients should follow the advice of their surgeon.”
Dr. Renee Horowitz, an ob/gyn who recently founded the Center for Sexual Wellness in metro Detroit, told VOXXI she gets questions from both men and women about when can they resume sex, whether there might be restrictions on their activity, whether sex might be painful and whether their sex life will change altogether subsequent to surgery.
Says Dr. Horowitz, “The answers to these questions vary so much depending on the kind of surgery the patient has had. If, for example, a woman has had a hysterectomy including removal of her ovaries she may have some altered sensation and vaginal dryness. She may needs estrogen creams for dryness and sex may feel different for a while. If a man or a woman has had heart surgery, they may be very concerned that they are going to have a heart attack during sex – which can seriously diminish libido. Sadly, a lot of people do stop having sex after heart surgery. That is very unfortunate because with the go-ahead from their cardiologist, they could still enjoy an active sex life.
“If it’s a hip replacement, mobility could be a factor as well as the general length of time it takes a person to heal and not be in pain. If it’s a minor surgery there may be hardly any sex down-time at all. So the restrictions on sex really are controlled by the extent of surgery and the body part involved. The absolutely best advice is to have a frank discussion with your surgeon, who I promise won’t bat an eyelid.”
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